Treatment:
Below are the three drafts of the treatment for my five minute short film 'Turkish Delight':
Version 3-Final Draft of 'Turkish Delight' Treatment:
--i further condensed the details and also added a new name for our leading character (now called 'Muslim Boy'), furthermore i added in the changes that were made to the script in order to make the treatment as accurate as possible. In addition to this, i also corrected any grammar/spelling mistakes that may have been unnoticed before.
A teenage boy is seen staring, he begins to contort and alter his face into unusual and overtly comedic expressions as if he was trying to communicate something, almost as if he was in on a secret game. The boy, called Muslim Boy, suddenly stops these expressions and proceeds to stare blankly at the screen. Muslim Boy is dressed simply, his attire typical of a teenage boy, messy, baggy and black & white. A monotonous voice emerges from his mouth delivering the words ‘I don’t like alcohol’. His blank expression is altered into one of an unimpressed nature, and then Muslim Boy is gone. We see him next dancing in an outdoor location, his movement resembles something that would be seen in a Bollywood dance, the movement is extremely rehearsed giving the illusion that he has done this many times, it is not just a ‘experiment’. Following this we are presented with Muslim Boy back in the dark location he was initially in, he begins to list his many dislikes and likes. The dislikes grow stranger and odder as they progress, in addition to this the absurdity of Muslim Boys facial expressions grow, beginning with the look of the unimpressed and exaggerating into a look which resembles someone who could be considered to be mental unstable, continuously raising his eyebrow when explaining these things. Muslim Boy is constantly alone, until his location changes and we see him in a bright school corridor, there are a large number of children with spoilt and arrogant expressions plastered onto their faces, they are seen crowding around him and begin to mock him and physically attack him, although hurtful to Muslim Boy, their attacks appear to be somewhat useless and almost half-hearted, as if he wasn’t even worth the full fight. Muslim Boy then furthers divulges into his dislikes, he states viciously that he hates a television program, by this he means the popular show family guy. He takes these unusual dislikes further by stating emotionally that he does not like playing Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare because he does not like killing people that look like him. This is the first racially driven comment we have heard from Muslim Boy, and although his race proves to be the reason why others dislike his, he somewhat speaks as though he is speaking falsely, as though he is not actually shaken by this and ultimately sees it as a joke. The last time we see Muslim Boy, he is drinking slowly with an animalistic quality out of a water fountain. Muslim Boy has just burst into a classroom within his school and casually murdered all who were found in the classroom. This event is contrasted by the more relaxed yet animalistic expressions Muslim Boy makes, as he is drinking water, acting as though nothing has ever happened.
Version 2:
--After feedback of this draft I corrected any grammar/spelling errors that may have not been noticed, i also made corrections in order to have this treatment accurate with the changes that were being made to the script.
Muslim boy is a teenager. He is a Muslim, living in a western school. Muslim boy lives in London. Today he is at school; his one place of solace is in an unidentifiable dark room. He goes here to sit and think, to be alone, to not get attacked or mocked. When he walks down the corridors at school he is harassed, hit and laughed at. No teachers are ever present and Muslim boy has no friends. We first see Muslim boy in his dark room, a monotonous voice emerges from his lips and he states ‘I don’t like alcohol’. Here is where his story begins, Muslim boy seeing the audience as the only people he confide in lists the things he likes and dislikes ‘I like cats’, ‘I don’t like porn’, ‘I like fifa football 2013’, 'I don't like call of duty 4 modern warfare, because i don't like killing people that look like me'. Muslim boy appears to be different and unusual compared to what is seen to be normal, yet he does not know why he is seen this way, he does not want to change and allow people to see him as normal. Slowly he progresses from this unusual and unwanted person, to someone with confidence, intelligence and wit. He comes across as someone who wants revenge, someone who has a plan. When Muslim boy reveals his first dislike, he stares blankly, as if he is unable to remember why or home he came to dislike each of these things, the same is done for his likes. Like a broken record he speaks continuously, his speech is formed from a monotonous tone, which then heightens as his confidence accelerates. Muslim boy is often seen in a reflective state, this state is where we see him at his most vulnerable and most obvious. Here Muslim boy, through building up confidence, he also builds up anger. He reaches a state in his mind where he needs to let go of his emotion; he needs to destroy them all. Muslim boy is then seen in a classroom, he begins to shoot each person within the classroom, as if he is playing a video game. But how did Muslim boy kill them, was it reality or did he just turn to his video games.
Version 1:
---After feedback of this draft, i went back and made the treatment more detailed and focused on conveying the story clearly, i also corrected any grammar/spelling errors that may have been unnoticed prior.
Alisan is a teenage boy, but he is a Muslim in a Western School. Alisan lives in London, and everyday he attends school. Alisan is at school today, he stands quietly, contemplating and assessing all the things that he likes and dislikes. Before he is able to take one step further, he is bombarded with the arrival of screaming children, swinging bags and preoccupied teachers who carelessly shake and spill their oversized cups of tea. Alisan speaks for the first time, a monotonous voice whispers, "My name is Alisan, and I am a victim of the western dog." Alisan picks himself up from the floor and walks dejectedly to a dark room, isolated from the rest of the school life. He enters and sits down; cautiously he looks up and visualizes his surroundings. The same monotonous voice spills out from his lips "I don't like Alcohol". Alisan begins to look up at the ceiling closing his eyes tightly as he remembers a past event. Alisan is seen standing in the middle of a living room, blasting music is playing and he slowly finds himself surrounded by a group of boys, all holding various cheap beers, intimidated Alisan looks at his surroundings and then takes one long, loud sip from his juice box. The flashback has ended and we see Alisan still sitting in the dark isolated room. "I don't like porn", Alisan then returns to the previous reflective state and once again we are inside his mind. We see a dark room, the only source of light is coming from the computer screen which alisan is facing, sexually suggestive noises are heard, and noises that completely contrast to his unimpressed and evidently disgusted facial expression. Again we return to the initial room, Alisan is seen, still sitting, still analyzing his thoughts and words. "I don't like playing Call of Duty, because I don't like killing my own kind" Alisan looks away quickly, as though someone has slapped him; his facial expression remains serious and untouched. "I like Keanu Reeves movies" his face then proceeds to immediately light up, a wide yet borderline sinister smile forms on his face. Grinning from ear to ear, Alisan recalls another event, we are in his room, a scene from his favorite movie point break is playing, copious amounts of Keanu Reeves posters are layered on the walls, his mother walks in shaking her head "I think he's a homosexual". We see Alisan back in the dark, isolated room. This continuing happiness that has formed carries on through his excited facial expression "I like to take photos of people, when they aren't looking", "I like cats", and “I like my hair". After each is mentioned Alisan's smile slowly fades, each is ruined by the reactions from various school members. Alisan's anger builds and increases leaving him to a state in his mind where he believes there is no other option. He must destroy all that ridicule him.
Version 3-Final Draft of 'Turkish Delight' Treatment:
--i further condensed the details and also added a new name for our leading character (now called 'Muslim Boy'), furthermore i added in the changes that were made to the script in order to make the treatment as accurate as possible. In addition to this, i also corrected any grammar/spelling mistakes that may have been unnoticed before.
A teenage boy is seen staring, he begins to contort and alter his face into unusual and overtly comedic expressions as if he was trying to communicate something, almost as if he was in on a secret game. The boy, called Muslim Boy, suddenly stops these expressions and proceeds to stare blankly at the screen. Muslim Boy is dressed simply, his attire typical of a teenage boy, messy, baggy and black & white. A monotonous voice emerges from his mouth delivering the words ‘I don’t like alcohol’. His blank expression is altered into one of an unimpressed nature, and then Muslim Boy is gone. We see him next dancing in an outdoor location, his movement resembles something that would be seen in a Bollywood dance, the movement is extremely rehearsed giving the illusion that he has done this many times, it is not just a ‘experiment’. Following this we are presented with Muslim Boy back in the dark location he was initially in, he begins to list his many dislikes and likes. The dislikes grow stranger and odder as they progress, in addition to this the absurdity of Muslim Boys facial expressions grow, beginning with the look of the unimpressed and exaggerating into a look which resembles someone who could be considered to be mental unstable, continuously raising his eyebrow when explaining these things. Muslim Boy is constantly alone, until his location changes and we see him in a bright school corridor, there are a large number of children with spoilt and arrogant expressions plastered onto their faces, they are seen crowding around him and begin to mock him and physically attack him, although hurtful to Muslim Boy, their attacks appear to be somewhat useless and almost half-hearted, as if he wasn’t even worth the full fight. Muslim Boy then furthers divulges into his dislikes, he states viciously that he hates a television program, by this he means the popular show family guy. He takes these unusual dislikes further by stating emotionally that he does not like playing Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare because he does not like killing people that look like him. This is the first racially driven comment we have heard from Muslim Boy, and although his race proves to be the reason why others dislike his, he somewhat speaks as though he is speaking falsely, as though he is not actually shaken by this and ultimately sees it as a joke. The last time we see Muslim Boy, he is drinking slowly with an animalistic quality out of a water fountain. Muslim Boy has just burst into a classroom within his school and casually murdered all who were found in the classroom. This event is contrasted by the more relaxed yet animalistic expressions Muslim Boy makes, as he is drinking water, acting as though nothing has ever happened.
Version 2:
--After feedback of this draft I corrected any grammar/spelling errors that may have not been noticed, i also made corrections in order to have this treatment accurate with the changes that were being made to the script.
Muslim boy is a teenager. He is a Muslim, living in a western school. Muslim boy lives in London. Today he is at school; his one place of solace is in an unidentifiable dark room. He goes here to sit and think, to be alone, to not get attacked or mocked. When he walks down the corridors at school he is harassed, hit and laughed at. No teachers are ever present and Muslim boy has no friends. We first see Muslim boy in his dark room, a monotonous voice emerges from his lips and he states ‘I don’t like alcohol’. Here is where his story begins, Muslim boy seeing the audience as the only people he confide in lists the things he likes and dislikes ‘I like cats’, ‘I don’t like porn’, ‘I like fifa football 2013’, 'I don't like call of duty 4 modern warfare, because i don't like killing people that look like me'. Muslim boy appears to be different and unusual compared to what is seen to be normal, yet he does not know why he is seen this way, he does not want to change and allow people to see him as normal. Slowly he progresses from this unusual and unwanted person, to someone with confidence, intelligence and wit. He comes across as someone who wants revenge, someone who has a plan. When Muslim boy reveals his first dislike, he stares blankly, as if he is unable to remember why or home he came to dislike each of these things, the same is done for his likes. Like a broken record he speaks continuously, his speech is formed from a monotonous tone, which then heightens as his confidence accelerates. Muslim boy is often seen in a reflective state, this state is where we see him at his most vulnerable and most obvious. Here Muslim boy, through building up confidence, he also builds up anger. He reaches a state in his mind where he needs to let go of his emotion; he needs to destroy them all. Muslim boy is then seen in a classroom, he begins to shoot each person within the classroom, as if he is playing a video game. But how did Muslim boy kill them, was it reality or did he just turn to his video games.
Version 1:
---After feedback of this draft, i went back and made the treatment more detailed and focused on conveying the story clearly, i also corrected any grammar/spelling errors that may have been unnoticed prior.
Alisan is a teenage boy, but he is a Muslim in a Western School. Alisan lives in London, and everyday he attends school. Alisan is at school today, he stands quietly, contemplating and assessing all the things that he likes and dislikes. Before he is able to take one step further, he is bombarded with the arrival of screaming children, swinging bags and preoccupied teachers who carelessly shake and spill their oversized cups of tea. Alisan speaks for the first time, a monotonous voice whispers, "My name is Alisan, and I am a victim of the western dog." Alisan picks himself up from the floor and walks dejectedly to a dark room, isolated from the rest of the school life. He enters and sits down; cautiously he looks up and visualizes his surroundings. The same monotonous voice spills out from his lips "I don't like Alcohol". Alisan begins to look up at the ceiling closing his eyes tightly as he remembers a past event. Alisan is seen standing in the middle of a living room, blasting music is playing and he slowly finds himself surrounded by a group of boys, all holding various cheap beers, intimidated Alisan looks at his surroundings and then takes one long, loud sip from his juice box. The flashback has ended and we see Alisan still sitting in the dark isolated room. "I don't like porn", Alisan then returns to the previous reflective state and once again we are inside his mind. We see a dark room, the only source of light is coming from the computer screen which alisan is facing, sexually suggestive noises are heard, and noises that completely contrast to his unimpressed and evidently disgusted facial expression. Again we return to the initial room, Alisan is seen, still sitting, still analyzing his thoughts and words. "I don't like playing Call of Duty, because I don't like killing my own kind" Alisan looks away quickly, as though someone has slapped him; his facial expression remains serious and untouched. "I like Keanu Reeves movies" his face then proceeds to immediately light up, a wide yet borderline sinister smile forms on his face. Grinning from ear to ear, Alisan recalls another event, we are in his room, a scene from his favorite movie point break is playing, copious amounts of Keanu Reeves posters are layered on the walls, his mother walks in shaking her head "I think he's a homosexual". We see Alisan back in the dark, isolated room. This continuing happiness that has formed carries on through his excited facial expression "I like to take photos of people, when they aren't looking", "I like cats", and “I like my hair". After each is mentioned Alisan's smile slowly fades, each is ruined by the reactions from various school members. Alisan's anger builds and increases leaving him to a state in his mind where he believes there is no other option. He must destroy all that ridicule him.